Sorry for the summer absence all! I do love sharing my creepy, hysterical and fun dating adventures for your general amusement, but Portland’s summer was just too awesome to stay inside writing. Don’t fret though, I have some real nice summer fling stories just for you. Enjoy!

– K

Oh Australians. Ever since spending a study abroad year in Queensland, I’ve had a soft spot for the ‘no worries, mate’ attitude and, let’s be honest, the accent.

When Australian and I were chatting, I had some apprehensions about our compatibility. While I appreciated his intense love of theater and only mildly cringed at his fondness for comic con type events (No, he was not a trekkie, Relax), that general personality tends to clash with my realist, sarcastic, sport loving spark. But, he was from Melborne, Australia. My favorite city in a country that still holds the title for ‘best year of my life.’ I had to meet him.

We could have talked for hours. Well, I could have definitely listened to him talk (retention rate on what he was actually saying might have been low… whatever). We had a lovely discussion about books, Australia, coffee. Australians are particular about coffee and they are not afraid to tell Americans ours sucks. Anyway, all was going well until he dropped the following little gem about how he ended up in Maine.

Aussie boy moved to the states with his girlfriend. Current girlfriend. I know, I was confused too. It gets worse. He was living with his girlfriend and her … wait for it… husband. A quaint little freaky family out on Peaks Island.

I remember feeling an amused disbelief, thinking: this doesn’t happen. Come on.

Apparently, prior to meeting his girlfriend, he had been in a similar style relationship back in kangaroo land. He later asked me if I’d be up for “meeting” his girlfriend.

Yeah… No. Pass. Forever. Peace out.