Yes my friends, there’s a round two and thank you, men of Tinder, for providing the ceaseless entertainment that is your complete inability to think.

Check out these select gems:

Take 1:  New Years Eve, I have a gross cold, but trying to rally. No longer contagious, I hold strong with my tissues and red wine for a solid four hours and even make the freezing mile walk downtown with then-boyfriend and his buddies. Alas, the coughing fits and wheezing quickly sent me home. I gave him an out- I would head back myself and he could hang with his buds, which I was seriously cool with because NYE is the most consistently overrated and under-performing holiday of the year. He went back with me but then, sitting on the couch trying to figure out what channel the ball drop was on, he drops this:

“I’m just really disappointed that I had to leave my friends because you’re sick.”

Inside I was thinking  “I really wish I was contagious.”

Take 2: Dated this guy for about two months. Professional, attractive, smart – seemed promising. One night, he texts me and asks if he is the most handsome man I’ve ever dated. First of all, what kind of question is that? Secondly, in truth, he wasn’t.  While I would never specifically say that to him, I also wasn’t going to lie, so I responded with, “yeah, one of the most.” Apparently that flipped some sort of asshole switch in this guy’s head, because he then came back with:

“I can think of a list of women more attractive than you.”

I have a zero tolerance policy for this level of BS. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out, jerk.

Take 3: Some time ago, I was dating a guy who enjoyed cooking and was good at it. (Awesome, right??) We had been together for a bit and he was well aware that I was a vegetarian. One night, he invites me over to dinner and I see that he’s cooking up an Italian feast, featuring … beef lasagna. I politely question this choice, noting that it would likely make me sick and his response?

“Well, you should have been more clear about how vegetarian you are.”

Just … failure.