Here’s a fun one. Of course by “fun” I mean another excruciating date where I found myself sitting across from a guy thinking: “Are you F-ing serious right now?”

This dating episode started as they normally do – meet guy on app, guy doesn’t seem like a serial killer, agree to have a drink with guy.

He was later 30s, lawyer, seemed cool. We met at a bar for a drink before dinner and while he was nice and very complimentary, things (shockingly) quickly went down hill. You know when someone over does it with the flattery? It quickly starts to feel not just disingenuous, but creepy and maybe with the slightest wisp of misogyny. Ladies, you know.

Anyway, after a barrage of “you have such nice eyes!” “wow, your skin is great” and “you’re so pretty”  he pauses and comes out with:

“I’m going to make love to you tonight.”

Now, ok. First of all, did you just vomit in your mouth a bit? Because I certainly did that night, all while a flurry of thoughts and possible explanations for what the hell I just heard raced through my head. Some of those included:

• Is he’s singing the classic Boys II Men hit right now?
• Is he misquoting a movie?
• Is he drunk already?
• Did anyone else hear that?
• I can’t believe I’m having to deal with this level on nonsense … again.

What made the whole thing worse was the fact that this absurd statement was made with an air of confidence that was wildly unmerited (because no one – save Captain America –  is qualified to say that to a woman he just met, and Captain America wouldn’t say it).

I just … ugh.