Certain people lack the necessary skills to enter into/maintain a relationship. As most will likely agree, the specific skill that trips people up is basic communication. This is great, in a way, since it gives me faith that I’ll always be gainfully employed (I’m in public relations) , but in dating it’s a massive problem.

Usually, the communication failure comes in the form of being a poor conversationalist, but this particular gem of a guy didn’t fall down there- he was actually quite verbose and interesting. His problem, and the reason for our relationship’s ultimate demise, was the failure to form/communicate the one or two essential details of a plan. This was probably indicative of a bigger psychological issue, but let’s explore. 

Captain Can’t Follow Through and I could talk for hours. We had similar interests, both well read and enjoyed discussing books/ current events, there was never a silent moment. After a month or so of dating, the following annoying trait emerged. He and I would plan a fun date night, like tapas/drinks hopping through the Old Port. He used to be a bartender, so he’d explain the best spots for tequila drinks (Zapoteca) or sushi (Miyake) and we’d map out the whole thing. Then I’d ask something to the effect of:  “So, what time should we meet?” Radio silence. A day later he’d text me this long apology with some excuse that seemed valid and promise to make it up to me.

This same situation happened two more times before I gave him the “WTF” talk, which ended in him making apology after apology and professing his desire to continue our courtship.

Now, in this situation, I follow the “prove it” method and told the captain that if he wanted to keep our thing going, he needed fully plan out and execute one of our missed date nights. He agreed and (shocker) couldn’t pull it together.

I only have so much patience for this kind of BS and I was done. Weeks went by with no call or text when in the middle of a work day I receive a lengthy – I’m talking 3+ paragraphs – text message from him asking me to skip out on work and come hang with him all day (yeah, right) , that he’s ready to make it all up to me (sure you are)  and he’s so so sorry for being such a flake.

First of all, people, no one likes an essay text. It makes you look like a crazy person. If you have something that takes a while to convey, man/woman up and call the person. Secondly, how dumb or desperate did this guy think I was? Honestly, I was insulted.

Obviously I did not take him up on his offer and rather advised him to work on his communication skills before embarking on another dating adventure.